The phone rang. Nike hurried to get it. It was Valentine’s Day. As she made the dash from the kitchen to the sitting room of her posh three bedroom flat, she could not but wonder who it was. She searched around for where the phone’s sound was coming from. “Femi” she said aloud as she stared at the caller id. She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to be excited or surprised. It was two weeks since their argument and the way it had ended, it looked like it was the end. “Hello” she said as she answered the call. She didn’t want to sound too excited. “I am downstairs” he said. She scoffed, “No greeting” she wondered. “Okay?” She said, trying to sound like she did not care. “Come downstairs” he replied. That was Femi, he was the most arrogant young man she had ever come across. “Okay, I am coming”, she replied. Putting the phone down, she went to the kitchen to put down the dinner she was making. She had to admit, she was very scared, she wasn’t sure what he was here for. The thing was that with Femi, one could never be so sure. After that little issue that he managed to blow out of proportion, and all other issues he always managed to create a quarrel out of. “Maybe he has come here to end things” she said to herself. “But why today?” “Lord, no. Not when my mates are receiving valentine gifts, I can’t be getting a breakup.” She said a silent prayer as she made her way down the stairs.
Dealing with school life can be very stressful especially if you have to live with a terrible roommate. Why you have to bother yourself with other serious issues relating to your studies, you’ll also have to come up with new ways to continuously deal with troublesome roomies.
In most cases especially if you are a fresher, you are not allowed to choose your roommate, so you would have to cohabit with a complete stranger. While it may sound fun and interesting at first, there is a high probability that you guys wouldn’t get along initially or ever.
Here are steps that can be very helpful in living with a troublesome roommate.
– What you can do to avoid getting into problems,
Respect each other
No matter who is older or younger, once you guys happen to be sharing the same room, try and respect each others opinion, belief and ideas. Respect their personal space and property and always ask before making use of their stuffs.
Set out boundaries and agree on differences.
set rules and regulations that will govern your living together. Is your roommate a smoker and you find it difficult inhaling cigarette fumes, here is where you get to straighten everything out concerning differences. Also come to an agreement on things like room chores, contributions, noise levels and visits from the opposite sex.
When at fault own up.
It’s difficult most times to accept that we were wrong, but if you want to be treated fairly, When you are at fault be quick to own up and apologize for your wrong doing.
Try and be decent.
When sharing a place with someone it’s always advisable to try and clean up after yourself, don’t litter the place with your things, tidy up your own corner or part of the room.
Keep him/her updated.
Since you share the room space with someone it is only right that you keep your room mate updated. Should you be away from school, let them know off your whereabouts, there are the first point of contact should there be difficulty reaching you. Also let them know before hand should you be expecting a visit from the opposite sex.
– When in dispute with your room mate.
Talk it out.
This is the first approach to take to settling dispute, have an honest discussion about individual differences, allow each other tell their own side of the story and gradually try and resolve the issue.
Seek others opinion.
If you still find it difficult to come to an agreement, you can try sharing the experience with close trusted friends and hear what they have to say about it.
Give each other space.
If after the lengthy discussions and arguments between you and your roommate yields no positive result. Then the next thing is to avoid getting into arguments with him/her, give each other the necessary space for things to work out.
However, it may be easier said than done, because there is the limit everyone can take in tolerating others, and if you feel you can’t cope anymore with your present room mate then it’s about time you move on, there is no benefit in adding room mate troubles to the work load you have to deal with in school.
Please add yours
An endless journey filled with twists and turns
With pain and sorrow
With joy and happiness
With defeat and slavery
With victory and liberation.
It starts in the womb
Till the child sees first light
Then decisions starts
What shall we name the child?
What shall the child become?
The child grows up
Stands at the crossroads of life itself
What path do I take?
What road do I walk down?
The right path
I knoweth not
For that knowledge is of a higher calling.
A path has been chosen
It is riddled with agony and despair
With poverty and hunger
The once blissful child has lost all hope
He resigns to fate and passes from this world.
But it doesn’t end there
After this world
You either go up or down
To unending happiness
Or to unending suffering.
Just next door
A child is born
The decisions start again
How will this tale end?
THE JOURNEY NEVER TRULY ENDS!
By Naga Avan-Nomayo
Mass Comm, 200l.
The Exchange (Part 4)
My relationship with Tunji was more or less an engagement but nothing was official…I’m sure if people gave engagement rings back then, I would have been wearing one.
I was considered ‘marked’, everyone knew I had a boyfriend…my mum would introduce him as “Ǫkǫ Àfęsǫnà” which means Fiancé in Yoruba Language. Later my mum started suggesting that we should get pregnant but Tunji would just laugh and tell her not to worry, that we would give her all the grandchildren she was looking for. Tunji made a vow of chastity with me and had said we would wait till our wedding night before we ‘did’ anything. He would say “What’s the point of rushing to have a taste when you can easily have the whole pot for keeps”
Not long after that, a cousin of mine, Laide, who lived in Lagos was getting married and it was going to be a big party…that was the first grandchild of my maternal grandmother that was getting married so the whole family was all agog.
Laide and I were very close growing up…she would come spend some time with us during her school breaks and I would do the same during my holidays. We kind of drifted apart when she got admission into the University of Ibadan. She came with her mum (my mum’s elder sister) to inform us of her wedding.
It was nice seeing her again…the last time I saw her was when she stopped by after my dad’s demise. unlike that visit, this time, we had time to talk and we did for hours. She told me everything about her fiancé.
How they met at the University of Ibadan, when he came to visit his younger sister that happened to be Laide’s friend,
How he studied Medicine abroad but is now working in his father’s company
How he’s from a wealthy family
How they are planning to shut Lagos down for the wedding
She went on and on and on about how this was a fairytale come true for her.
How she already got a brand new car from her would-be father-in-law for saying yes to his son
How she would be travelling abroad with her fiancé to shop for the wedding
And finally she said she wanted me to be her chief bridesmaid (we called it ‘best lady’ back then)
I couldn’t say No, I was super excited for her…she took my measurements and shoe size so she could get me the things needed on their shopping trip.
They were with us the whole weekend and she met Tunji…
“Hmmmn, he’s so handsome” was all she said and they left Sunday evening.
My mum and her sister (Laide’s mum) already made arrangements for the “Asọ òkè” (the traditional head gear and cap for family members to wear at the wedding). They would meet at Ibadan some weeks later to go pick one and buy in bulk. Laide told me to come to Lagos before the wedding, she told me when she would be back from her trip and wanted me to come try my clothes and other things on…in case they would need adjustments. After they left, my mum still took a jab at me and Tunji, saying we should get something done soon.
My cousin got back and I quickly travelled to Lagos to go see her…the things she brought for me were beautiful. She bought everything needed to be the chief bridesmaid up to undies. I met her fiancé (Bola) for the first time as well. I also met the best man who happened to be the groom’s cousin. I noticed the way he was looking at me…I wasn’t sure I liked it.
Bola took us out to have lunch and his cousin came with us…I had never seen such lavish generosity in my life.
Poverty is a bastard…the restaurant he took us to…
The car we drove in…
The people we met at the restaurant….
I was seriously intimidated but I kept it together. I told myself I would just sit quietly and return to my Abeokuta after everything.
Keep tab for part 5!
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Hello greatest Akokites! In this post and subsequent posts, we would be doing a quick recap of the recently concluded Nigerian Students Fashion and Design Week (NSFDW2016.) We would be looking at some of the most creative designers who were on show at the event. Kick-starting this, our spotlight is on ‘Hym Signage‘ whose creative director (Ibrahim Quadri) is a Quantity Surveying student of the University of Lagos.
Hym dazzled at the just concluded fashion show and it is no wonder how he managed to emerge as one of the most creative designers on display. A quick perusal of some of the pieces from his collection would sell you on his creativity too. Lets dig in…
The Exchange (Part 3)
Tunji came the next day like he said he would and that was the beginning of our relationship. It was like a match made in heaven. My dad was the last person to warm up to him in my family but it didn’t take long at all. Tunji had this charisma that made people like him; he‘s soft spoken, calm and focused…all the qualities of a young man well brought up. Tunji was an orphan that had lost his parents at an early age…he had been passed around different family members’ homes while growing up. At a point, he lived with one of his teachers; who took him in because he didn’t want him to stop school. Tunji was a very brilliant student…he wanted to study Medicine but he didn’t have the financial capability, so he opted for engineering. That must have been another thing that endeared him to my father.
About a year after we started dating officially, Tunji completed his Higher National Diploma. Back then, only University graduates were allowed to go through the National Youth Service Program…so he moved back to Abeokuta, where I lived, and got a job as a teacher in one of the secondary schools. At the end of that same year, I completed my training as a beautician and hairdresser. I opened my own beauty salon and as expected, people started pestering us to get married. Tunji already rented an apartment and was running after-school classes to make some extra money. Government jobs were good back then and in no time, Tunji had furnished his apartment and gotten a car loan to purchase his car. It was a Volks Wagon beetle…I remember the first day he brought it to my shop. I sat in front with such poise, as he drove me home. My parents prayed for him and blessed the car.
Not long after this, my dad took ill and passed…it was devastating for the whole family; it was one of the darkest moments of my life. Tunji stood by me, he was equally hurting because my dad had grown quite fond of him; there were things he would tell him before telling me (her daughter). Tunji helped me to heal and move on. He would talk to all of us and use himself as an example of how God would never leave us even if our dad passed. He would tell stories of the things he had been through as an orphan and how God showed up for him. I’m sure some of the people that came to sympathize would have easily mistaken him for one of the deceased’s biological children. He would sit with my mum and console her…he would cajole her to eat and encourage her to be strong because she was all we had left.
Somehow we pulled through and gathered our lives together. After a while, I noticed that my mum was nudging me to get married so we could have a reason to celebrate and be joyful in the family. She would ask questions like
“What are you people waiting for?”
She would say things like…
“A woman is supposed to get married latest by 25, since she does not have a lifetime of fertility”
She even called Tunji and had a discussion with him…Tunji told her not to worry as he was trying to put some things in place and very soon he will make it happen.
I loved Tunji, he was everything a 👩 could ask for in a man but I wasn’t going to rush him. I just believed he must have his reasons for taking things slow. He already told me he would marry me but needed a little time to “put things together” (that was his phrase).
I could understand why my mum was on my case, as my elder brothers were not even thinking about marriage at that time. Our eldest had graduated and was working in the Public Sector. He had just gotten the job and was still settling in; he wasn’t even in any serious relationship. The one after him studied Pharmacy and was rounding up; the remaining two were studying the same course at the same university and were just a year apart.
Written by MR SPICER
Keep tab for part 4tomorrow!
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I made Tunji leave and saw him to the gate, I could see the mischievous looks on my brothers’ faces as we were leaving. Tunji asked if I read the letter he sent to me, as that was one of his reasons for coming to see me…I told him I had forgotten and I would read it later that evening. He promised to come see me the next day, I begged him to come to the Salon and not our house.
When I got back in, my dad was waiting in the sitting room
“Who’s that boy?” He asked
I didn’t have any answer but my mum quickly responded that he’s her friend’s nephew. My dad nodded and said “I like his confidence”.
This boy must have two heads, I thought to myself…as the only girl; I was my dad’s most precious gem and he had made his position known that he did not want to see any boy in that house till I was done with my vocational training and had set up in my own Salon.
That night, my mum asked if anything was going on between me and Tunji and I told her we were just friends…she smiled and went back to the kitchen. I waited for everyone to sleep and I went for the letter. It was still where I had kept it, I opened it and it was my very first love letter…
Somewhere in my room,
A night before I depart,
XX XXX, 1978.
Top of the day to you my ravishingly beautiful friend. I believe you are having a wonderful day, if so doxology.
Just in case this is coming to you as a surprise, the past weeks have been the best of my life. I never thought I would meet a girl that would blow my mind and knock me off my feet. Right from the first day I saw you, I knew I was hooked. I have tried to get you out of my head but just couldn’t.
It’s as if it was predestined and written in the stars. Anytime I set my eyes on you I can’t explain the things I feel in my heart. It’s as if someone is filling my brain with symphonies of a wonderfully composed music; that makes my mind fly high into the splendor and grandeur of celestial places.
I love this feeling and I never want it to stop. Trust me; this must have been what Romeo felt. Only something this divine would make a man want to end his own life just to protect and preserve the feeling.
However, not even Shakespeare could have captured what I feel; ink, pen and paper would not do justice to it. It may look like I am perambulating but I just want to do my best to express this feeling. I want you to be my girl
It can’t be wrong
When it feels so right
‘Cause you, you light up my life
I know it sounds like I stole the lines from Kasey Cisyk, but girl, you truly light up my life.
Even my aunt knows that we will be great together. I am not just looking to pass the time, which is why I waited till I was leaving for school. I want something deep and meaningful. I want you for keeps.
What sayest thou?
Post Scriptum: I would have told you this in person but I wouldn’t be this composed in front of you, so I chose to write you this letter.
Forever in Love,
I must have read the letter like 5 times (I kept it for many years…many, many years) there were some words in it that I didn’t really know the meaning but I got the idea and I knew what Tunji was trying to say. Butterflies played ping pong in my belly all through the night. It was as if the letter woke some feelings up in me as well. I liked Tunji too, he was handsome and his spoken English was flawless
Written by: Mr Spicer
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It was the year 1977, I had just graduated from Secondary School and my dream was to be my own boss and start a hairdressing/beauty salon. I was not really the academic type and I knew what I wanted. I wasn’t dull but I just didn’t want post-secondary education…I actually passed my ‘School Cert’ (like we called it back then). My mum enrolled me with a friend of hers to learn the skills required for this ‘dream’.
My dad was not really in support because I was the only girl, the last child and all my older siblings/brothers were in various institutions of higher learning and he wanted me to at least get a National Diploma even if I wasn’t going to work with it. My mum stood by me and somehow got my dad on board…he wasn’t going to pay for the training at first, but he later did.
About a year after I started with “Aunty Betty” (My mum’s friend that was training me), I met one of her nephews, Tunji. He was a student of the Yaba College of Technology in Lagos…they were out of school due to the ‘Ali Must Go’ riots and had come to see her aunt. I was the only one at the salon when he came in…I was wondering what a man was doing at beauty shop, he greeted me with a smile and that was it. I couldn’t get that smile out of my head. He was soft spoken and very intelligent, he had asked me some questions about school and when I told him my plans, he said it was a wise one because there was nothing as fulfilling as following one’s passion in life. Aunty Betty officially introduced us when she arrived at the salon….I must have made an impression on him as well because he kept coming to the salon everyday till it was time to go back to his school. He would hang around and crack jokes…he was really hilarious. At a point, Aunty Betty had to ask what we were up to…she would say jokingly that she was totally in support, if we planned to take our friendship to the next level, to which Tunji would smile and I would pretend not to understand what she was talking about.
I wasn’t that experienced in relationship stuff…the only boy that ever claimed he was my boyfriend back in high school got a beating of his life when two of my brothers caught up with him (the benefits/woes of being an only girl with 4 big brothers). These were the same guys that would switch girls like they were disposable plates but their sister was off limits to all the boys in the neighborhood.
Tunji left after the schools were reopened and I thought that was it…after all; he never said he wanted to date me, although he was always coming to the salon all through his stay. At first I had expected him to say something but when he left, without words, I assumed he was just a friendly guy that wanted to spend time with me and his aunt. The day he left for school, he sent me a letter through his aunt but because I did not want to read it in her presence I put it in my pocket, when I got home I put it under a pile of clothes in my wardrobe but completely forgot about it.
There was a day I told Aunty Betty I wouldn’t be at the Salon because I had some errands to run for my mum. It must have been about 3 weeks after Tunji left…when I got home from where my mum sent me, he was in our house. He was in the sitting room with two of my brothers and they seemed to be having a wonderful time. They were talking and laughing…I was shocked to see him.
He later told me he came from school to collect some money from his aunt and would be around for a couple of day…he checked at the Salon and was told I didn’t come, Aunty Betty gave him my home address and he wanted to surprise me. I was more of afraid than surprised because my dad was home and I didn’t know what his reaction would be after Tunji left. It was the first time any boy came to look for me…I was about 20 years old then and my dad still saw me as a kid
Written by: Mr Spicer
Keep tab for part 2 tomorrow!
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When most people think of maintaining an healthy lifestyle their mind always goes to them sticking to a diet that contains zero meat intake, vegetables 24/7 and other not so exciting food combinations.
What you might know is that in most cases, this is not necessary.
So, let’s see 3 tips on maintaining an healthy lifestyle yet eating anything at anytime you will.
1) You don’t have to eat less: To keep a trim figure, you don’t have to starve yourself. Many people make this mistake and eat just once a day all for the sake of loosing weight.
All you have to do is just the right combination of food to attain a balanced diet.
A sure way of achieving this is by eating Tummy-Tummy noodles which contains all the classes of food in one pack and is well filling.
2) Combine meals high in carbohydrates with vegetables:
While staying away from high carbohydrates food items like bread, rice and the likes may stop weight gain, you don’t have to suffer the absence of such delicious items.
All you need to do is to combine them with vegetables, which is a great compliment .
Again, Tummy-Tummy noodles comes with vegetables that contain high amount of nutrients required to loose excess fat.
3) Eat low fat meals instead of fatty ones:
There are many ready made meals like Tummy-Tummy noodles which are low in fat. This means that you can eat such meals continously without worrying about gaining extra fat.
Tummy-Tummy instant noodles comes in two variants, Chicken and Seafood flavor.
You can now buy either at PMG, New Hall, Unilag.
Hey beautiful people! Yea… we are still on the kings and queens of 2015… In this post, we would looking at their year in retrospect; what they have been able to achieve, what they have learnt and of course how they would do thinks differently if they had the chance.