#LifeInUnilag: MUST READ! – Unilag Girls classified according to their hostels – By Opeyemi Famakin

When people hear the phrase UNILAG GIRLS, some thoughts pop into their mind. Some think UNILAG girls are aristo’s, some think they are materialistic girls, others think of them as chop and go, some see them as parole girls, some see them as stranded girls(cuz dey like entering cars hehehe). And the list continues. Not all these terms are true though, not all lag girls are aristo’s, not all of them are parole girls, but there’s two things they all have in common which is their love for money and also their love for chicken and chips.

There are 7 female hostels in UNILAG namely Moremi, Kofo, M.T.H, Honours, Makama, Fagunwa, Amina… So lets begin with the classification.

Makama Girls, M.T.H Babes and Fagunwa Chicks: It is said that to get a Makama girl all you need are 2 hot meat pies and a chilled bottle of fanta and she’s all yours ps: make sure the meatpies are hot and the fanta is chilled, apparently they prefer it that way. To get a MTH and Fagunwa babe all you need is just 200 Naira suya and they are yours, if you’re feeling buoyant you can manage to buy them chicken suya instead, things like that tickle their fancy. These three hostels are situated close to each other inside New hall (Unilag’s ghetto) thus making them nieghbours. People say new hall girls don’t have class (true), some say they love to party hard (very true), some also say they are cheap (well, not so true) but we all know they ain’t classy. Every time I go to visit someone (Girls) in new hall I’m always ashamed or scared, I’m always scared cuz new hall boys might rob me and beat the crap outa me and I’m also ashamed that some new hall girls might obtain me and share the money amongst themselves to buy suya. Most 100 level girls stay in these 3 halls thus making them jobless, they never stay inside their hostels so it’s not unusual if you see them roaming around new hall looking for boys to buy them food and other edible trinket, for now let’s call them Ghetto Girls or Suya Girls.

Moremi Girls: also known as chicken and chips babes, to get an audience with a moremi babe you must submit a plate of chicken and chips and the she’ll listen to you. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they will answer you it just simply means they’ll give u an audience. They prefer older men with cars and they date guys with money and mostly club boys, but we have some good girls (nerds) amongst them. Lets call Moremi girls Chicken and Chips Girls.

Honours Girls: Australia is a county where people know about but nobody visits, that’s exactly how honours hall is. Its situated in a bushy swamp in the middle of nowhere so they barely get visitors. Most times I go there I see men with cars toasting those small girls, honours girls are boring girls with no event in their life so let’s call them Village girls or Bush Girls. And yeah Honours hall week are the best female hall week in UNILAG, yes I said it.

Amina Girls: I’m pretty sure you have heard about aristo and runs girls in UNILAG, well 70% of the aristo and runs girl stay in amina hall, they are situated at the gate area so when the big alhaji’s and chiefs come to pick up girls the quickly branch at amina negociate the price *coughs 50k* and they carry the girl outside school. There was one time I was walking around amina hall in the night and I mistook it for a brothel, not that I know what a brothel looks like. Lets call amina girls ARISTOcrats , ah yes, Amina hall has one mad kissing spot outside it just right in front of the Queen Amina statue. That’s where you’ll find the broke boys without rides kissing their babes, it’s always a pleasant sight to watch.

Kofo hall: Also known for its Aristocracy it’s just there and random, pardon my English but they have the deadest hall week. Even if I was paid to go to their hall week I won’t go, you can NEVER catch me going to look for a girl in kofo. I’ve asked many guys what they know Kofo girls for and their replies are either “I’ve never done a Kofo girl before” or “Abeg where is Kofo Hall’ and “I don’t know”. The reason Kofo hall is dead is cuz most girls in faculty of education stay there and as we all know girls in faculty of education are dead, no offence but we all know its true. I don’t know what to classify them under, but I know they don’t know how to throw a party.

These classifications are according to Jaja and Mariere boys, the gentlemen of Unilag and we are authorities on issues like this. If you’re the type of guy that double dates please don’t go to new hall and be cheating on them with another new hall girl cuz gist spreads there. Find a girlfriend in Honours and another side chick in newhall, the probability of them meeting are very slim. If you have money and you know you’re ready to spend then you should date a moremi girl, they are classy and poise women who like the good things of life and also enjoy being spoiled silly. Amina girls are not owned by Unilag boys, they belong to our oga’s at the top aka Alhaji’s and Chiefs. I have no idea who kofo girls belong to. All in all we love Unilag girls, especially Moremi babes.

By Opeyemi Famakin.

Pulse Student Reporter.


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